Front cover of Certified in Sounding Official by Lee Barnes

Available now · A cybersecurity satire

Certified in Sounding Official

The Accidental Rise of Britain's Worst CISO

Sounding official is easy. Being effective is harder.

A dry workplace satire about cybersecurity, promotion, boardrooms, buzzwords and the art of looking like you know what you are doing.

About the book

Some people rise through competence. Crispin had a different strategy.

Crispin Lockwood-Fetch never set out to become a CISO. He simply discovered, quite early on, that he was exceptionally good at one thing: sounding official.

From helpdesk hero to boardroom favourite, Crispin charts his accidental ascent through the world of cybersecurity, armed with little more than a sharp suit, an impressive collection of buzzwords, and an unshakable belief that most problems can be solved by clearing the cache and delivering a confident PowerPoint.

Interspersed with the increasingly exasperated logs of his Head of Security Operations, Lauren Barnell, this is the painfully plausible story of how one man mastered the art of looking like he knew what he was doing… right up until the ransomware hit.

If you’ve ever sat through a security briefing and wondered whether confidence was doing more work than evidence, this is the book for you.

For readers who enjoy

Cyber theatre, office politics and uncomfortable evidence.

01

Cybersecurity without the superhero act

A sharp satire of the meetings, policies, board updates and nervous PowerPoints behind modern security work.

02

Office politics with a straight face

Career advancement, institutional confidence and the strange rewards available to people who sound more official than useful.

03

Logs, notes and uncomfortable evidence

Crispin’s version of events is quietly dismantled by Lauren Barnell’s increasingly precise record of what actually happened.

Availability

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Paperback

Available on Amazon

The paperback edition is available to order through Amazon.

Audiobook

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Listen to Certified in Sounding Official now through Audible UK.

Author Lee Barnes

About the author

Lee Barnes

Lee Barnes is a British author based in Birmingham and the founder of Hatchford Vale Press. After many years working in technology and information security within complex organisations, he writes fiction about people inside institutions: the language they use, the systems they trust, and the small decisions that gather weight.

Read more about Lee

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